The Sound of Music: Redux

There are so many songs that are just fabulous to sing along to in the car, that I thought I should expand my little countdown to ten more songs. So here it goes!

# 10 Weezer – Buddy Holly

I’m not sure what to say about this song, it’s just catchy, and impossibly high vocals are always fun to screech out in traffic.

# 9 The Miracles – Love Machine

Little do people realize, but this song was written about me. Sure it may have been written nine years before I was born, but you see, my love making  and fidelity in a relationship had been prophesied to The Miracles, and thus they were entrusted to tell the world of my skill, which can be described best as a mechanical, robotic vibrating of the pelvic region.

#8 The Toadies – Possum Kingdom

I’ve always loved this song, basically because of it’s mention of our Lord Jesus and the use of threats against a woman’s life to attain her hand in marriage. Basically if I ever trick a chick into marrying me I’m going to play this song at our wedding, this and Closer by Nine Inch Nails.

As a side note, Hellsing is an awesome anime, and this video is way better than the real Possum Kingdom video.

# 7 Kenny Loggins – Danger Zone

I’ve never seen Top Gun, but I have seen Hot Shots, so I don’t think I really need to see Top Gun.

# 6 Men at Work – Overkill

As having some-what paranoid tendencies and anxiety issues myself, I can relate a lot to Men at Work, their music speaks to me, and it tells me to kill, dah I mean adopt a puppy! Yeah that’s it…no I don’t think they suspect anything. What do you mean I should delete that last sentence? Look, it’s getting awefully crowded up there, you think you guys can talk one at a time? HAIL SATAN. Aw cut it out voices in my head! Jesus Christ you and your Satan, I doubt he even knows you exist, so you might as well stop it with all those “blood sacrifices”. Aw nuts to this, what was I talking about before I was rudely interupted? Oh yeah, Men at Work rules!

# 5 The Cure – Boys Don’t Cry

Anybody out there play Kingdom Hearts? Don’t this video remind you of the Heartless with the band all black and red eyed? Just me then? Well I guess that’s like, your opinion man.

# 4 Survivor – Eye of the Tiger

First off let me say that I literally lost all control of my bodily functions watching this video. Survivor just looks so tough walking down the mean streets of Philadelphia with their snarling faces, leather jackets, and rocking 1980’s mullets that just scream, “You want a piece of me? I don’t think so princess!” Honestly, I wet myself from fear. I lay awake at night praying that I don’t run into these guys on the street. I mean, the message of the song tells me that I must challenge them to a fight if I truly want to prove my manhood, but just look at them! They’ll destroy me!

# 3 Conan the Adventurer

All you have to do is watch this intro and you’ll realize why Saturday morning cartoons suck now.

#2 King Arthur and the Knights of Justice

I actually used to hate this show, but because of it’s awesome intro, I had to watch it every time it was on. It was like the Siren’s song, luring me to the island that was King Arthur and the Knights of Justice, little realizing that instead of the promise of wild sex with three hot sisters, I was eaten alive and left to rot in the stomach of the “Football Players Riding Robotic Catapults” beast.

1# Sonic the Hedgehog

If any cartoon exemplifies the very essence of the 1990’s, it would have to be Sonic the Hedgehog.

Radical intro? Check.

Main character with attitude? Check.

Hot naked chick with attitude? Check.

Steve Urkel? That’s a big Check-a-roonie good buddy!

Well there you go, ten more songs to torture you co-workers/spouse/friends with. Why? Becasue they just don’t understand how awesome you are. But I do, because I’m your very best internet buddy. Come on, E-Hug! Mmmmmmmmmmm, internet grope…

I Don’t Believe In Santa Claus

So I decided to finish the X-E Advent Calender for Matt. Enjoy!

ARCANO:  YOU REMEMBER MY PETS DON’T YOU? YOU HAD SO MUCH  FUN WITH THEM LAST SUMMER!

KUSE: Everybody, RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!

MARE: THE COCONUT CRABS! THEY’RE BACK!!!

ARCANO: EHHHHH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEHHHHHH.

KUSE: Wait! I know what to do! Deploy the ‘Ultimate Weapon’!

MARE: My God! You don’t mean…

KUSE: YES!  FIRE LASER!!!

ARCANO: OH NO!!!

ARCANO: NO!!!

ARCANO: NOOOOO!!!

ARCANO: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo……………..

MARE: Damn, kicked his ass!

KUSE: I have to go now, my planet needs me.

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THE END!!!

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Meanwhile…

The Sound of Music: Part Duex

Since I finally got some recognition for my greatness (thank you DC) I shall continue with my Sing-a-long Countdown.

#9 Real McCoy – Another Night

Deep Voiced Guy. That’s all the explanation anyone needs for why this song and all Real McCoy songs kick ass.

#8 Haddaway – What is Love?

Made famous my the greatest movie of all time “A Night at the Roxbury”, this couragous singer dares asks the timeless question that lives within all of our hearts, “What is love?”.  Truly, if anyone answer that question, it’s Haddaway and his amazing music video with hot vampire chick action. You can never go wrong wih hot vampire chick action. I’m serious, if I ever meet any hot vampire chicks the next thing you read about me will by obituary: “Naked Man entirely drained of blood, leaves smiling corpse.”

#7 Rick Astley – Together Forever

I try to live my life by following the example of Rick Astley. Honeslty, who else knows more about love than Rick Astley? (besides Haddaway I mean)

#6 Real McCoy – Run Away

Again, Deep Voiced Guy, he also lent his vocal talents to great bands such as  Aqua and Toy Box.

#5 Billy Idol – Eyes Without a Face

I wanted to go with a surprise when my list would eventually reach the great Billy Idol.  Sure I could have chose Dancing with Myself, but even I can only make so many masturbation jokes without starting to sound redundant.  Also the clapping sound is not hands, it’s hand on ass, which is fucking fantastic.

#4 Cyndi Lauper – Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

This video has Captain Lou Albano.  Captain Mother Fucking Lou Albano. He is Super Mario.

Also Cyndi Lauper is adorable.

#3 The Village People – In The Navy

The Village People have a ton of great songs to sing along to.  Also if anybody ever died and left me a lot of money, I would use the entire sum to hire a  Village People tribute band to follow me around and sing songs behind me.

#2 The Weather Girls – It’s Raining Men

I fucking dare you to watch this video and not laugh your ass off.

And I’ve never seen tits so big, NEVER.

#1 Pokemon Theme Song

Firstly, whoever wrote this song, bless you, bless you from the bottom of my heart.  You taught me so much, you taught me how to fight for what I believe in, and protect the world from devistation. I WILL unite all peoples within one nation.

So there you have it. Have some Jessie before you go.

Mmmm…midriff.

And here’s some James for you DC

The Sound of Music

I went for a ride, listening to some tunes, and I found myself singing along to some songs that I know all the words to, so here’s my

Top 20 Songs I Always Sing to in the Car!

#20 Jeffrey Osborne – Stay With Me Tonight

I’m a sucker for songs that have clapping or kick ass guitar solos. Well this song has both! Also it always made me giggle when he sings “Made me feel just like a school boy girl” like if got confused half way through.

# 19 Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up

Well, honestly, how can anyone not know all the words to this song by now after all that Rick-Rolling going on? But I was singing this song before it was cool! Much like how I used to masturbate to Shakira before she became famous in the USA or how I hated Dane Cook long before anyone else did.

# 18 Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now

Queen is the best band that has ever, and will ever exist in this or any other known, or unknown Universe.  If Heaven exists I hope Freddie Mercury is constantly getting high-fives and thumbs-up from Jesus because even Jesus the Christ Himself can only begin to dream about rocking as hard as Queen does.

#17 Michael Sembello – Maniac

Now first off I’ve never seen Flash Dance, nor do I ever think I will. How I know about this song is from those two wonderful shows The Simpsons when Grounds Keeper sang it, and The Critic where Sherman has a flashback of himself crashing through the disco floor.

# 16 A-Ha – Take on Me

I’m also a sucker for music videos that have animation in it. Also its fun to sing the high pitched part while stuck in traffic with the windows rolled down.

# 15 Paul Engemann – Push it to the Limit

I’m not sure when I first heard this song, because I’ve never seen Scarface either (I know, I know shut-up) but since this song came out in 1983, and I was born in 1984, I probably was just born with the knowledge of this song already in my baby brain.

# 14 Dee D. Jackson – Automatic Lover

I actually just found out about this song like a few months ago, and I immidiatly fell in love with the Robby the Robot knock-off. Just look at him…LOOK AT HIM BY GOD! Plus the song is kinda catchy and I’d bang the chick.

# 13 Spandau Ballet – True

Spandau Ballet has got a lot of great songs, and by great songs, I mean really fruity songs that are fun to sing along to.

# 12 Exile – I Wanna Kiss you All Over

The first time I heard this song was in that great film Happy Gilmore in the scene where he sings the refrain into the intercom outside his ex-girlfriend’s apartment. Ever since then I’ve left voice-mail messeges of myself singing this song to my ex-girlfriends in tribute. I really have, I’m not joking.

# 11 Erasure – A Little Respect

This little number was brought to me by that great show Scrubs, whichis  a show I watched from the very beginning and used to tell everyone how great it was and no one believed me until like 6 years later they put it on Comedy Central and everyone is all like “OMG have you seen that show Scrubs? It’s like so cool you gotta watch it!” and then I’m all like “FUCK YOU I’VE BEEN TELLING YOU THAT FOR SIX YEARS YOU WHORE I’LL KILL YOU!”

# 10 The Foundations – Build Me Up Buttercup

I’m seeing a pattern between my un-luckiness with the womens and my liking of songs about unrequited love…

So that’s the first half of my Top 20 List and tomorrow or later tonight if I get incredably bored I might post the rest. Or I won’t post nothing until I get a few comments, I don’t wanna jump the gun and all!

I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire

I thought I’d let everyone know (all four of ya) where I’ve been for the last month or so, well I’ve been spending a little time in the Capital Wasteland.

Fallout 3…my my my, what a game you’ve been. First of all I’d like to thank you for giving me my dream come true: Nuclear Fallout complete with rabid animals, Cannibal Raiders, Super Mutants, Robbie the Robots, and yes, even zombie Ghouls. I’ve wandered the Wastes scavenging for food, medicine…ammo, for what has been a month, and you still come through with more secrets and areas to explore, each and every day. I’m not sure what i like best about you, saving the innocent from ruthless Slavers, or killing these Slavers by launching Mini-Nukes.

Seriously though, what is with my fascination with the post-apocalyptic? It all started with the Twilight Zone (which I am enjoying right now thanks to the Sci-Fi =Channel marathon) to Terminator. I just love the idea of civilization collapsing due to a large cataclysmic event.

Of coarse if this were to actually happen, and I weren’t out right killed during the first nuclear blasts, I’d most likely starve to death while hiding in  a dumpster hoping against hope not to be eaten by Mutants or killed by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I’d like to mention that if any of you out there like to game, in the very least give this game a rent, it has over a 100 hours of game play, the quests are fun, and it’s got a great 1950’s thing going on throughout that I absolutely LOVE!

And the developer, Bethesda, is going to release even more quests and things to do as down-loadable content sometime in January.

I’d also like to take this time to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to personally thank all the people that actually bother to read my dumb little thoughts when I can actually tear myself away from Pokemon reruns and masturbation.

Editor’s Note – The author of this post would like to express the fact that the masturbation mentioned in the above paragraph is in no way related to said watching of Pokemon reruns, unless otherwise noted due to any of the following characters in bikinis:

Looks like I got a full night ahead of me…

Two Can Be as Bad as One

I have come here to chew ass and kick bubble gum, and I’m all out of ass.

Finally saw They Live! for the first time Thursday, and I have to say that it was awesome! It starts out a little slow, but oh man, when he finds those sunglasses…the movie is just funny as hell!

Obama ‘08 FUCK YEAH!

Short Film

I thought maybe yous guys would get a kick out of this, it was a short movie my friend and I made a few years ago when we were bored. My friend actually submitted this years later to a film festival. Needless to say we didn’t win, however my other friend accepted an award for a guy who never showed up, even though he had nothing to do with the movie whatsoever!

The whole movie thing started in high school when a teacher had made making a movie extra credit. So like we took this Bond spoof “Bootfinger” and made three shorts…that I fear may have been lost to time…and then we decided to make a feature length film about it.

The end result was basically a How To on how to not make a movie. I moved to another state so that made things difficult, and like when you get older and have more responsibility its hard to get everyone together just to film a dumb little movie.

Though if I could do it all over again, I would do so in a heartbeat, best years of my life.

If you’re interested search “Bootfinger” on youtube, the first part was taken down from youtube because my friend said American Idol was going to sue us because of the music we used, which is weird I know, not really sure if that was the case but still…weird. Either way we were told to take it down, I barely remember what the first part was, like I said: a How To on how to not make a movie!

R.I.P. Aka Murasaki

My Beta fish died today. Granted I only cleaned his tank twice in a year (his tank was covered in algae like all the time no matter what I did) and he had a wicked fungus infection, but otherwise I treated him like a King and a week before he died I moved him to a spacious 5 gallon tank with a kick-ass rock and heated bulb.

You were my first pet Aka, and I’ll miss you forever, may the bottom of my trash can become a safe vessel to that  big Fish Tank in the Sky.