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This Is Major Tom

So I just finished watching ‘The Man Who Fell to Earth’ for the first time, and all I have to say is:

Ho. Lee. Shit.

This was a fucking cool movie, this is a weird movie, but a weird movie that actually follows a basic plot and exhibits great visuals, story telling, and characters. Its not just ‘weird for the sake of being weird hard to follow bullshit’.

Honestly though, if anybody but David Sex God Bowie was in this movie, I might not have liked it as much. There is just something irresistible about the man, I’m not even sure what it is, but i would let him do whatever he wanted with me.

Basically a movie is a hit with me if it includes Arnold Schwarzenegger (except for Collateral Damage, cripes that was shit), Christopher Walken, David Bowie, or Jim Carrey. To my knowledge none of them have been in the same movie at the same. This is because if that were to ever happen, the universe would simply stop. I just imploded a distant star by just typing the idea of them being in the same movie, not to mention creating a virgin birth somewhere on this planet, shortening the life expectancy of anyone reading this, and erasing any chance of me getting another woman to agree to touch my penis in this, or any other lifetime. But these are the risks I take for your entertainment.

If your still reading this, which I doubt, hell I just read what i wrote and thought ‘Goddamn I’m awesome!’ so of course your still reading this! I’ve already told you about a movie that you should watch, now let me tell you about a movie you should never watch, or at least never watch alone and sober:

Don’t let the awesome movie poster fool you. I expected it to be so bad its good, but it was just so bad it was bad. It was badly dubbed over from what I would expect was because they couldn’t afford boom mikes and lavalieres. So that alone was distracting. But the movie was shot weird, like over use of the zoom in zoom out on characters. It made me a little sick.

But, if you still wanna see this, just watch the last 15 or 20 minutes, the last big battle had me on my ass, it was pretty ridiculous.

I think tomorrow I’ll do a little piece on my favorite movie of all time, one that I own, but if it comes on TV, I stop whatever I’m doing and sit down and watch it. Here’s a hint: it stars one of the four actors mentioned above, and a planet very close to our own.

Until next time!

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. June 21, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    I am a huuge Bowie fan, and a straight man, but if he wanted to I’d let him have me.

  2. Dan
    June 22, 2008 at 3:56 am

    Can’t say that a) I’ve seen either one of these movies and b) that I’d let David Bowie touch me “in that way”, but I guess I’m not as big of a fan as you too. Maybe my opinion will change after I watch the movie. 😉

  3. June 22, 2008 at 4:37 am

    dan: one word, Labyrinth .

    Actually scratch that, I should say: 4 words, Labyrinth bowie codpiece.

    There thats much better, Right??

  4. flabslapper
    June 22, 2008 at 6:41 am

    agreed, Labyrinth

  5. DC
    June 23, 2008 at 12:41 am

    I LOVE Labyrinth! Bowie rocks in it! Now I’m going to have to watch it because you guys mentioned it!

  6. Dan
    June 23, 2008 at 2:50 am

    I haven’t seen Labyrinth in years!!! I need to find a copy and watch that one again. Jennifer Connoly is freaking hot!

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