Home > Uncategorized > Get Your Ass to Total Recall

Get Your Ass to Total Recall

Well, here we go…

If you’ve never seen Total Recall, stop reading this and buy it, rent it, download it, find out who’s watching it and peep through their window – I don’t give a fuck how, but you watch it dammit, you watch it right now!!

This, is without a doubt in my doubt-filled mind, my most favorite movie ever. Whenever this movie is on I have stopped what I was doing and sat down and I watched it. Even if I was receiving oral from God Herself I would gently slap her in the temple and then tell Her to give those lovely lips a rest because I got some Total Recall to enjoy right now, and I can’t be distracted by Your most holy blow jobs. I’m super serious. Ever since I’ve seen this movie I have felt that it is my sworn duty to tell everyone and anyone to give themselves a treat and watch Total Recall. And everyone I’ve suggested this to has in the very least, enjoyed it and said it was a good movie. This has only been two people but by god that makes me 2 for 2.

So why is Total Recall such a great movie? I don’t know, it just is. It resonates on every level of what a great movie should be.

First off, it stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, and no, I didn’t have to look up his name to spell it correctly. I’ll go as far as to say that this is the best movie he has ever acted in. Yeah yeah, I hear some of you out there saying ‘What about Terminator?”. Well I said ‘acted’ not walked around looking bad ass but not saying a goddamn word.

Secondly, this movie is genuinely funny, there are some laugh out loud moments whether intentional or not.

C: Do you like futuristic sexy spy mystery comedy sci-fi mutant robot action? Well brother, your going to get more than your tight little virgin ass can handle!

And fifth, do you like to use movie quotes in arguably appropriate situations? This movie is so quotable that you won’t be able to make an original thought anymore, you’ll just be saying lines from the movie. Whether somebody farts in a crowded elevator – “These people need air!” to when you get invited to your cousin’s coming out party “See you at the party!”

In closing (I’m wrapping this up because i want to watch this movie again right now) In the very least, watch the first 10 minutes of this movie. If you don’t instantly love total Recall, I’ll hate you forever.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. June 23, 2008 at 1:34 am

    I would fight arnold Schwarzenegger.

    I think it would be an even match.

  2. DC
    June 23, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    I haven’t seen Total Recall in a LONG time. I remember not really getting it when I first saw it. I should watch it again now.

    Arnold is a girly man. And unfortunately he’s also my state’s governor…doh!

  3. flabslapper
    June 23, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    yeah DC, it was hard to follow for me too at first, but after 15 viewings it gets a little easier to understand!

  1. August 4, 2012 at 11:38 pm

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