Home > Uncategorized > Bat To See

Bat To See

So I ordered this little beauty from Amazon a few days ago

Jawsome, truly Jawsome

But that’s not why I’m here today. I started building this at around 6:30pm today. I didn’t finish until 9pm. This isn’t my first time building a Lego but its definitely been a year, and before that probably 7 or 8 years since I was real huge into Lego’s. But 2 1/2 hours !? Jesus Hell! What I noticed about these new Lego instruction manuals is that they have the pieces separated into numbered bags, and your supposed to build each vehicle separately and they have BIG RED X’s over pictures of kids pouring all the bag’s contents into one big pile. Oh, and you should only build a Lego on top of a smooth surface like a table.

Um excuse me? That’s missing the whole point of what building a Lego is all about! You’re supposed to open all the bags and pour them into a big pile onto a dark, multi-colored shag carpet so that every time you need a tiny, tiny, small black tile piece, your crawling around on the floor for an hour until you realize its been embedded in your knee the entire time! That’s what made it fun! Every new added piece was a new adventure!

But no, they want you to follow the rules! Well fuck you! I’m 23 years old and if I want to build a Batman Lego for 2 1/2 hours because I can’t tell the difference between a dark grey piece and a black piece in your instruction manual, which forced me to take apart the Joker’s Ice Cream truck 3 times so that I could take those pieces out, than that’s my God given right!

Also for some reason they stopped doing that thing where the new pieces that you are supposed to add are a lighter color than the pieces that have been added already on the new page. That just made every page a goddamn Where’s Waldo for the new piece I’m supposed to add. That and my legs kept falling asleep because I’m 20 fucking 3 years old building a Lego Indian legged on my fabulous 1970’s decorated basement floor.

But here are the blurry results:

Fuck. Yes.

Oh, and I wanted to see the Dark Knight so bad my dick was hard. And it did not disappoint.

Bonus points for anyone who knows what movie quote that’s supposed to be a play on.

Pictures of me half naked if you know what show this is:

And I will deliver, so if you know the answer, you’d do well to keep it to yourself, on that you can trust me. I’m, ha ha, very hairy, pale, and slightly doughy.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. DC
    July 25, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    I’m loving Joker’s Ice Cream Truck. I don’t think I could have put this together though. I have little patience now and it would take me like 3 months (maybe more) to possibly piece this together!

    And I don’t know what show that is…whew!

  2. flabslapper
    July 25, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    yeah! I came for the Batmobile, but stayed for the Ice Cream Truck

  3. July 26, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Jawsome indeed, I hope you ordered one for me too!!

    Psst: Cybersix.

  4. flabslapper
    July 26, 2008 at 4:37 pm

    NO DAMMIT JoshC you don’t count because you live in Canadia where CyberSix had a good season run, I live in AMERICA FUCK YEAH! where CyberSix aired for one episode on FOX at 7am.

    I fuckin knew you’d get it too, I should have made a ‘No JoshC’ stipulation…dammit, but if I must, I must

  5. July 26, 2008 at 5:35 pm

    Oh fuck yes, I have a new desktop background!!

    You’re a good sport.

  6. flabslapper
    July 26, 2008 at 8:02 pm

    Well if I’m honest, I’ve had that pic on myspace for like a year and half lol

  7. July 26, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    I was hoping you took it just for me!

  8. DC
    July 27, 2008 at 12:34 am

    Holy Hell!

  9. Dan
    July 27, 2008 at 12:42 am

    Damn it Josh!!! No amount of eye bleach in the world is gonna get that image outta my head and it’s all your fault!

    Cool Legos though, when I have some spare cash I might have to pick them up!

  10. July 27, 2008 at 2:13 am

    Hey I live to give.

  11. flabslapper
    July 27, 2008 at 10:27 am

    Don’t worry everyone, I’ll change the header after I write a new entry, lol, maybe I’ll write about the millions of spiders that have ransacked my room as of late…you know you have a problem when you catch them inside alergy medicine boxes and repelling from the ceiling and crawling on my foot

  12. Dan
    July 27, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    Sounds like the spiders are plotting a coup to take over your place! They must be Canadian spiders!

  13. July 27, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    I just noticed the “lost a bet to JoshC”.
    I love this blog dammit.

    Canadian spiders are the worst ever, small, very fast, usually drunk and surly and the cold can’t kill ’em!

  14. flabslapper
    July 27, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    Thats ok, I’ll just look lovingly into their eight eyes and wet myself

  15. July 27, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    Don’t forget to smile, you have no idea how crucial that step is.

    They have to know you’re enjoying it.
    Remember, YOU are in charge!!
    Now get out there and be the best damn Flabslapper you can be!!

  16. January 24, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    `*; I am very thankful to this topic because it really gives up to date information `.:

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