Home > Uncategorized > On the Road Again

On the Road Again

So like my dad just bought a 2008 Mustang and he heard about a nice scenic road that takes you along the river coast that takes you right into Dover where a Air Force Museum is. So he’s driving right, when I notice a squirrel laying in the middle of the road, dead as can be. I was like ‘Aw that poor squirrel.’ So as my dad swerves a little to avoid running over the dead squirrel, what do you think happens next. Son of a Bitch Dead Squirrel springs into action and runs straight for us. I swear to Christ the fucking squirrel was lying in the middle of the road, motionless, then does one of those kung-fu jumps back onto his feet and starts gunning for us. I’ve never seen anything like that, ever. I’ve seen squirrels try to run across the street and then stop and look at you all dumb-founded and shit, but laying in wait? Are you fucking kidding me!? Fucking kamikaze squirrel tried to Shanghai us! Here’s a picture of the culprit.

but this is what i’ll see in my nightmares

I suppose its my fault. When I was a child I was throwing snow balls at a squirell. It ran straight at me and I ran for my life back into my house. They’ve been after me ever since. I found one hanging on the screen of my window trying to get into my room so it chew through my juggular. And this other squirell got into my attick and made a nest in the box where I kept my awesome town Legos. My…mom threw them all away. I ran upstairs with a bat screaming for squirell blood! Still, I cannot bring myself to harm another living creature, no matter how many squirells they send to end me, I will never stoop to their level. You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villian.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Squirel Man!”

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Dan
    July 28, 2008 at 4:42 am

    The Squirrel-man picture both disturbs the hell out of me and cracks me up at the same time! You sir are not only the master of MS Paint but evidently your pretty handy with Photoshop as well! I guess I’m fortunate in that I’ve never been attacked by squirrels nor lost my Lego’s to them.

  2. July 28, 2008 at 5:28 am

    I’m going to be awake for days do to seeing your mouth on a squirrel, thanks for that.

  3. DC
    July 28, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    Whoa, it’s too early in the morning to read about attacking squirrels. Especially since there’s a lot of them here by my work, and raccoons, and possums….Oh, no…It’s going to be a critter revolution soon!

  4. flabslapper
    July 28, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    Rise of the Vermin DUHDUH DUH DUHDUH DUHDUH DUH DUHDUH DUHDUH DUH DUHDUH DUHDUH DUH DUHDUH DO DO DOOOOO DO DO DOOOO DUHDUH DUH DUHDUH DO DO DOOOOO DO DO DOOOOOOO DOOOOOO DO DO DOOOOOOO DO DO DO DO DOOOOOOO DUHDUH DUH DUHDUH DUHDUH DUH DUHDUH TING DUHDUH DUH DUHDUH

  5. July 28, 2008 at 11:08 pm

    I love that song, but I feel the need to correct you, you doo’d when you should have duh’d in the sixth verse bud.

  6. July 28, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    I didn’t know Batman was a christian!

  7. flabslapper
    July 29, 2008 at 1:07 am

    I just love Jesus’ expression, he’s all “Woah man! What gives?”

  8. DC
    July 29, 2008 at 1:39 am

    I have no problem praying to Batman.

  9. Dan
    July 29, 2008 at 1:40 am

    I’m just glad he changed the header picture! Lol.

  10. flabslapper
    July 29, 2008 at 2:00 am

    that hurt Dan, lol

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