Home > Uncategorized > Shooting At The Walls of Heart Ache

Shooting At The Walls of Heart Ache

Well I told myself I would never use my blog to wage any personal crusades against anyone, and I promised myself I would never use this blog to complain about anything more than a crappy video game or TV show…but I really gotta ask this to my loyal readers out there: Are all TV shows about Hunting hosted by complete and total psychotics?

Now before I piss anybody off, I have nothing against the sport of Hunting, and I would never speak ill of Hunters because I know a few personally and they are very respectful and eat what they kill or donate what they kill to soup kitchens and the homeless.

And I’m not some hippie tree hugging fruitcake either. I loves me some meat. Even though I would never  kill an animal for sport, hell, I don’t even like killing insects, rest assured if I were starving to death there would be no stopping me from bludgeoning a basket full of adorable puppies so that I would have something to eat to survive.

Every last one, right between their cute, tear encrusted eyes.

But see, that’s my point, my problem isn’t with the average Hunter, a person that kills for the sport and eats the spoils, its with these nut case Hunters on television. I was watching a show today about a man hunting a Bighorn Sheep. The whole time he’s talking about how beautiful this animal is, how majestic, so what does he do to show his appreciation for his beloved beast? Shoots it in the lung so it dies terrified and full of pain; all the while saying what a beautiful animal it is.

Look at that cute motherfucker! He definitely needed to die!

Anyone else think this guy might have a problem? A mental problem? He seems to be one bad day away from hunting beautiful women and killing them.

“You are so beautiful, too beautiful for this world in fact, that is why I must shoot you in the lung so as to not damage your beauty. Sooooooooooooo B. A. Utiful.”

So let me know what you think, I’d like to hear some honest feedback on this, and I apologize for being so serious.

Dammit Joker I already apologized, what more do you want!?

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. CrazyFish
    August 30, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    Get a life dude

  2. flabslapper
    August 30, 2008 at 10:19 pm

    I should get a life he says…all I did was waste my time writing it, you actually read it!

  3. CrazyFish
    August 31, 2008 at 4:11 am

    fail fail FAIL

  4. Dan
    August 31, 2008 at 4:54 am

    Man your getting all kinds of haters lately! Who’d you piss off? And from the looks of things your stuck with just me for a bit. Josh’s computer bit it and DC is having connection issues so it’s just you and me bub!

    As for the hunters…yeah I can’t watch them either, they take things way too seriously for me too and I used to hunt! Same with the “professional” fisherman. Dude! You get paid to catch fish, chill the fuck out!

    Glad to see a new post from you though, I was wondering if you’d fallen into some self induced masturbation coma or something.

  5. flabslapper
    August 31, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    You see that’s what I wanted to hear, I’m glad to hear it from a former hunter, and let me reiterate that hunting doesn’t bother me, its just those guys on TV just seem a little wacky to me.

    And I can’t help but feel a little hurt by the haters, Dan, their quips and jabs are just so clever and emotionally shattering that I’m just not sure how I can go on in life…seriously though at least Awesomeo had a good joke about him and I being the same person, he was more of a nemesis that gave me a good laugh, these other guys are just lame

  6. DC
    September 2, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    I don’t think I’ve ever really watched one of those hunting shows. I personally don’t like to watch animals get killed. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll eat the hell out of a steak, I just don’t want to watch the cow that’ll be my dinner get slaughtered.

    And, yes, I’ll be around infrequently since I only have a backup dial up connection at home right now. Damnit!

  7. ValiantVarsity
    September 2, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    where is JoshC

    I only see this ugly Flabslapper here

  8. flabslapper
    September 2, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    thanks for the comment DC! And to answer your question ValientVarsity, JoshC is having computer problems, and also thanks for proving me right about how you are a one hit wonder. I am very ugly, its true, however I challenge you to come up with a different insult, I won’t ask you to come up with anything original…I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself, but I welcome all mom jokes, also if you must stick with the ‘ugly’ theme, at least make some kind of joke out of it. Something like “flabslapper is so ugly, when he was born the doctor slapped him once and his mother twice.” Not that great of joke, sure, but at least I’m trying.

  9. CrazyFish
    September 2, 2008 at 11:53 pm

    Will you stop picking on the few people who actually read this crap

  10. flabslapper
    September 3, 2008 at 12:53 am

    now thats what I’m talking about, CrazyFish’s comment was funny because he switched it around to make me look like an asshole, bravo! Seriously, that was pretty good, the rest of you should take notes

  11. Dan
    September 3, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    I’m taking notes as we speak! ….slapped mom twice…..got it!

  12. CrazyFish
    September 3, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    but, you are. just read aloud the comment you just posted for proof

  13. Dan
    September 4, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Was my last comment sent to the spam filter? I don’t see it here.

  14. Dan
    September 8, 2008 at 3:28 pm

    Am I still hitting the spam filter?

  15. DC
    September 8, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    Dan: I always knew you were nothing more than a spammer. 😉

    You got spammed a couple of times on my blog too. Weird.

  16. Dan
    September 8, 2008 at 9:19 pm

    I was hitting all the spam filters for a while. It sucked!

  17. flabslapper
    September 8, 2008 at 11:13 pm

    that is weird, i never think to check my spam folder either

  18. Dan
    September 9, 2008 at 3:59 am

    See what you were missing out on? You can’t buy witty commentary like that! lol

  19. September 9, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    I CANNOT FATHOM ANYTHING ANYMORE BRING ME PEACE AND RESISTANCE PRAISE THOSE WHO HAVE SOUGHT OUR FORGIVENESS IN THIS TIME OF OUR NEED. GATHER FRIENDS WE ARE HOME!!

  20. flabslapper
    September 9, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    I couldn’t agree more Greta, I couldn’t agree more

    Also Dan is very witty

  21. Dan
    September 10, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    I have to disagree with Greta, if we were home then Josh would be here and since he’s not then we’re not all home. Or something like that.

  22. September 11, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUT

  23. Dan
    September 11, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Don’t you mean Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit? As in shit where’s Josh?

  24. September 11, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    THE POWER OF GOD WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN YOU LEATHER CLAD FISTBEATER

  25. Dan
    September 11, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    Leather Clad Fistbeater? That’s a new one! And since I’m posting this, guess you were wrong again!! lol

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