Well, now that I’m over the shock of my loss, I can finally put my sorrow into words.
The day started out like any other, I woke up to my alarm at 5:30, I showered, got dressed, and headed out the door. I pulled into the Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot, like I do every work day, and stepped through the door. I walked up to the counter, and looked anxiously across the counter to the muffin rack. I knew what I wanted, but I still like to just appreciate all the different muffins before I order my one, my only, Banana Nut Muffin.
But something happened, I couldn’t find the Banana Nut Muffin tray. This wasn’t that unusual, I’m always there pretty early, and sometimes they wouldn’t be ready with all the muffins right away. I turned to woman behind the counter and asked her if she had any Banana Nut Muffins. She looked at me and said, “No more Banana Nut Muffins.”
Perplexed, I asked her what she could possible mean by “No more Banana Walnut Muffins”. She answered, “No more Banana Nut Muffins, the stopped making them.”
I was devastated.
“But, but they’ll make them again right?” I asked with tears in my eyes.
“I don’t think so.” she said.
“Fine, I’ll take a Chocolate Muffin.”
My heart was breaking inside, the chocolate chips tasted like acid in my mouth.
I had sometime before work started, so at my desk, I wrote Dunkin’ Donuts an e-mail about my traumatic experience that morning.
Here is that letter:
On my recent (and daily) visit to Dunkin’ Donuts I was shocked to learn that my favorite muffin, the Banana Walnut muffin, has been regrettably discontinued? I’ve been enjoying your Banana Walnut muffins for 20 years, and I’m confused on why such a delicious muffin would cease to be?
Several weeks later, this was the response I received:
Thank you for taking the time to contact Dunkin’ Donuts. In an effort to continue to serve high
quality products to our customers that represent an excellent value, we are testing some changes
on the menu such as retiring some of our lower volume items. We value your feedback and hope that
you will continue to provide it in the future.
We apologize for any inconvenience and hope that you will try some of our other delicious Dunkin’
Thanks again for taking the time to contact us.
Have a great day.
Customer Relations Coordinator
Reference # 7354703
Oh wow! Thanks “Jennifer” for your obviously not automated response to my serious Muffin related question!
I didn’t even get a fucking coupon!
And what do they replace my most beloved muffin with?
Caramel Fucking Apple!
It’s pretty good, but still! BANANA FUCKING WALNUT FUCKING MUFFIN!!!