Archive for January, 2010

Anime Bad-Ass of the Day: Spike Siegel

January 30, 2010 Leave a comment

Spike Siegel is of Cowboy Bebop fame and the bad-ass of Saturday. He is a bounty hunter, and  skilled in martial arts and weapons. He is also very laid back and seemingly uninterested in women, namely Faye Valentine, which I find very admirable, because I was on that ship with her 24 hours a day I don’t think I would be able to control myself and thus get jettisoned out into space because she would totally kick my ass and stuff me into a missile launch bay.

Anyway Spike is…Spike well he is, alright well he’s got this like…oh fuck it, I’m going to talk about Faye Valentine instead. I mean, where in the rules does it say that a bad-ass has to be a guy?

Faye Valentine is hot, so very hot in fact that she usually gets away with anything she wants from anyone she wants (except Spike of coarse, I mean, I know he’s still hung up on that blond but goddman Spike! Just LOOK at Faye!

I mean yeah she’s nothing but trouble and she’s kind of annoying but her hair is purple! PURPLE SPIKE! And she wears suspenders UNDER her skimpy vest. That means her suspenders are touching bare booby! BOOBY YOU COOL AS A CUCUMBER SONOFABITCH GODDAMN!

Hmm, well I suppose I just cemented in why Spike Siegel is so great, because even though he seems aloof, he always has his mind on the mission, no matter what the mission is, and he doesn’t let anything distract him, not even Faye’s rockin’ tits.

Faye is cool too though, she has it pretty rough considering she doesn’t really know who the hell she was because of an accident (I don’t want to get into too much in case someone is reading this that has never seen the show, and if you have never seen the show, what the hell is wrong with you?)

Faye kicks ass and cheats at gambling. She’s a bitch with a tender side to her…kind of like Spike when I think about it…weird.

Anyway I demand more Faye pics, and seeing that I write this crap, I can make it so.

Well there you have it, a completely disjointed blog post. I never did promise these would make sense, I did however promise boobies, and I have delivered.

God Bless Japan!

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You’re My Obsession

January 30, 2010 1 comment

Just wanted to put this up, it’s an educational (lol) video I made way back in college. It was for a legal class, I got to show it to the class and everything!

Incidentally, there was this really hot chick that sat in front of me in this class. Imagine Natalie Portman when she had the short hair, but hotter.

So anyway she thought I was pretty funny, and like after I showed this video in class she complimented me that it was good and I’m funny and all that, so finally I work up the nerve to nervously ask her to “Wanna go see a movie or something with me maybe, you want to?” with her response being, “Aw, well I don’t know if my boyfriend would like that.”

So I was like, “Well I would have been surprised if you were single!” which she replied “Aw thanks.” or some shit, I don’t know.

So like the next day I was like, “So did you break up with your boyfriend yet?” and she laughed and said that maybe she should because he was annoying.

The moral of the story is I didn’t get any the end.

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Today’s Anime Bad Ass: Gutts

January 29, 2010 Leave a comment

Gutts is the main character from one of the best anime series (that I’ve seen) Berserk. If you haven’t seen it, I suggest that you do as soon as humanly possible. On the surface, Berserk seems to just be another over the top violent anime, but it is surprisingly deep. It’s a show that does have over the top violence, but the main message would probably have to be, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

Gutts on the surface, much like the show, is surprisingly deep. Being orphaned at a very young age, he is raised by the band of mercenaries, who train him to fight and kill for him. That’s basically all he knows how to do, fight and kill, and he’s very good at it. He feels no pain or fear in the heat of battle, and thanks to his huge sword, he cut people in half as if they were over ripened bananas filled with entrails and pressurised blood.

But growing up this way, he doesn’t really know how to interact with people who are not trying to kill him. Thus leads to doubt and mixed feelings about the group that takes him in, the Band of the Hawk mercenaries. He is befriended by their leader, Griffith, who is the only man who has ever been able to defeat Gutts (barely), and Gutts also starts to develop the only woman in the group Casca, a spicy little warrior with hot legs that she knows how to use…em.

Anyway, what makes this character bad ass is obviously the fact that he wields a sword twice as big as he is and kills with impunity. But what makes him a GOOD character is his constant struggles with his own emotions and the doubts he feels about he himself and the people around him.

It’s sort of like having a hobby, like writing, that a person uses to quiet a restless mind. Just, Gutts’s hobby is to disembowel people.

I did mention he’s a good guy, right?

Hey a little side note, on like Wednesdays probably I’m going to hit random on Wikipedia and then write an essay on whatever the fuck comes up, this is an attempt to learn something new, and to teach something as well.

As always, God Bless America!

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Anime Bad Asses

January 28, 2010 1 comment

I’ve watched my fair share of anime over the last few years, not a whole lot, but more than I ever expected to watch. I used to be closeted geek/freak if you can believe it. Granted i never hid it well, but for a while I wouldn’t admit to anyone that i like cartoon boobies, and i wouldn’t dare talk about how much I cried while watching Fruits Basket. It was a lot by the way. Mainly because of this mother fucker right here:

Lately I’ve started watching Fist of the North Star, why I waited this long to watch it considering that every damn aspect of the anime is exactly everything I like.

Examples such as:

1. Post Apocalyptic Wasteland

The world has been destroyed by a nuclear holocaust, the best kind of holocaust mind you, and nearly everything has been destroyed. This includes buildings, fertile land, livestock, most animals, and most people. The people that did survive envy the dead.

2. Bandits

Huge blood thirsty bastards roving the land killing and raping anyone and anything that is unlucky enough to be heard blinking in their immediate vicinity.

3. Motorcycles and ATVs

Their just fucking cool, that’s all I have to say about that.

4. Bad Ass main character

Kenshiro roams the wasteland saving people who just want to survive the apocalypse and killing anyone foolish enough to commit any kind of evil act in front of him. How does he kill them? By pressing the bastard’s pressure points in rapid succession until the explode. The cool thing is, they don’t explode right away, they have about 5 seconds to “think about their sins”. Fucking. Awesome.

And I’m only two episodes in!

Plus it has kick-ass music:

Well, the point of all this is, I’ll probably do some posts on anime bad asses and what makes them so bad ass. Expect to see Vash, Spike, Gutts, and some others when I remember them. I may even cover some non-anime characters as well, such as Batman, Wolverine, and perhaps some video game characters like Reinhardt Schneider and Luigi. This  depends on how the few posts go, if I can make them interesting enough to be worth reading, and thus worth writing.

Expect these everyday, too, as per my previous post to plomise to write everyday.

Thank you, and God Bless America.

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Where’s my Samurai

January 27, 2010 Leave a comment

So I’ve been watching a lot of Akira Kurosawa movies lately, for fun and sort of for research. I’ve been kicking myself in the ass for not seeing his movies earlier.

For those of you who don’t know,  Akira Kurosawa was  a Japanese film maker, he died back in 1998 at 88 years old. I’ve only seen a few of his movies so far, but I have to say that my favorite right now is Sanjuro.

Sanjuro is the sequel to Yojimbo, and is similar but for some reason I liked it better. The movie is about a ronin (master-less samurai, traveling samurai) who comes across some samurai who are plotting to out a corrupt leader.

Sanjuro the ronin, decides to help them. It’s a simple premise but the story takes a few surprising turns and just like every other Kurosawa film I’ve watched they way it is directed is just fun to watch. He always finds a way to fill the entire shot with something interesting to look at, and there never seems to be any filler going on in the story.

But i think the main reason why I like these movies so much is because of the actor Mifune who plays Sanjuro, Yojimbo, and basically any other bad-ass part. The guy is just a joy to watch, I’m pretty sure he was a real Samurai that traveled through time to the 1950’s to help Japanese film makers. Probably with some kind of ancient Delorean.

January 26, 2010 Leave a comment

So, I’ve decided to stop ignoring my blog, and post something new every butt fucking day.

Now obviously this means that in any given month, about 93% of my posts will be utter shit, the only difference is that there will be more shit, instead of shit once a month.

I’m doing this to go back to my promise to write more, which I am proud to say I have been. I even finished my one story, sent it in to the copyright office, and am currently waiting to get my certificate, so that i may sell it for billions of dollars, thus bringing me one step closer to my life long dream: Living on a Muffin Island, with Jennifer Aniston as my girlfriend.

I say girlfriend and not wife, becasue let’s face it, she wouldn’t want to be tied down to me, and I would allow her to date other guys just as long as she knows I’m the man who owns the mother fucking Muffin Island, and if she wants some sweet, sweet love on top of a bed of banana walnut muffins, there is no other choice but to sleep with me.

Anyway so there you go, thanks to all my readers who gave me a little boost of confidence to write again, and here’s to years of inane posts and pics of sexy, sexy ladies.

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Robot Pizza

January 24, 2010 2 comments

I was inspired to draw this from a song my friend made.

Robots came up to my room, I was terrified

Big fat robots

Matt Canon ordered pizza,

little did he know

robots were coming up

Matt Canon ordered robot pizza

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