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Your Wildest Dreams

Let’s talk about dreams, shall we? I usually remember most of, if not all the dreams I have each night, so I thought I would discuss the more interesting ones.

Most of them have recurring themes, too.

The dream I had last night was, I was trying to get to class, But I couldn’t find the right room (recurring theme #1).

I finally find the classroom, but I’m pretty damn late (recurring theme #2). I try to find a seat, and I when I find it, the teacher yells at me to clean the chalk board or something. I tell the teacher to go fuck herself (recurring theme #3), and tell her I’m going to report her to the education board for yelling at me for no reason.

I get to the office, and there is this cute chick playing with a cat. I sit next to her and talk to her. I don’t really remember what we talked about, I’m pretty sure she was there waiting to talk to someone too.

So we’re talking and hitting it off, and we’re under a blanket sitting on the lobby couch (?), and the cat is like rubbing against me and doing cat stuff. The chick thinks it’s cute, so I’m totally going to get some.

Suddenly, the cat sinks its teeth into my right testicle. I grab its neck and try to pry its teeth from my nut without hurting it. I finally get it off of me, and walk around trying to shake off the pain. The girl wants me to sit next to her again, and I try, but the cat keeps trying to get between my legs to bite my balls again.

Then I wake up, and my balls actually kind of hurt, which was weird.

That is the most recurring theme of my dreams: getting cock-blocked.

It doesn’t matter what it is, I could be eye to boob with a girl in my dream, but something will fuck it up, and either distract me in the dream, or wake me up right before I get me some.

That’s right, I can’t even get laid IN MY OWN DREAMS. Which means, I’m cock blocking myself!

The dream had before that was kinda cool though, something about stealing a dirt bike, hitting a jump too hard, flying like hundreds of feet through the air, and then breaking my wrist.  That was bad though, because I didn’t have any insurance. Wait, that’s kind of depressing.

Why can’t I have cool dreams, like about Batman?

Damn it Batman! Not you too?!

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