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Archive for March, 2010

A Letter to all PC Owners

March 18, 2010 2 comments

Take care of your fucking shit, you are making us all look bad when you get a virus that won’t even allow you to use the internet. JUST FUCKING STOP IT. It’s not hard to take care of your computer, it’s not like it’s a fucking nuclear reactor or a space shuttle, all you have to do is run cookie cleaners and antivirus protection once a week. THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO.

I’m not even telling you to stop looking at porn. I’m not even telling you to stop downloading music. JUST RUN THE GODDAMN VIRUS PROTECTION YOU LAZY FUCKS.

“It updates itself right?” WRONG. You still need to update it anyway.

“I thought it checks itself whenever I download something.” JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DO IT ANYWAY YOU ASSHOLE.

“But I-” DON’T MAKE ME SLAP YOUR SHIT.

“That’s why Macs are better because they can’t -” I WILL GODDAMN PISS ON YOU I SWEAR TO GOD

“But virus software cost a lot -” THERE IS FREE ONES YOU SHITBRICK

I’ll make it easy for you, every time a PC gets a virus, a Mac user kills a kitten, but I guess you don’t really like kittens, do you?

You heartless bastards!

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Life: How Music Can Improve

March 16, 2010 Leave a comment

Life. Life is pretty amazing when you think bout it. Every new day is a miracle, every day new wonders come into being that go noticed, and ignored.Every new day brings joy and suffering.

A new born baby, a daring rescue, a murder, a new cure; every day life brings new possibilities.

However, I can think of new ways that would make life even better; though impractical or improbable, I believe these things would make life even more enjoyable.

Whenever something great happens to a person, a guitar riff should magically represent itself from thin air, to accentuate said cool moment.

Imagine you get that promotion, and soon as you open the envelope of your new Check and see that extra money:

Or after you orgasm

Conversely, whenever some does something stupid, they get a played off by keyboard cat.

Differences in Opinion

All fights, whether physical or verbal, should all be settled with either a dance-off, or instrument battle.

Imagine if countries entire armies were trained in dance and instruments, the world would truly be a better place.

Here are some examples:

The End of the World

When the end of the world comes, which it WILL, a local band should be chosen to play over the loud speakers of a town, to usher in the end through music.

A few examples:

Death


At the end of every person’s life, this song should play

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Dat Ass

March 12, 2010 4 comments

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Wacky Wikipedia…Thursday? Aw well fuck it

March 11, 2010 Leave a comment

Motherfuckin’ Saveloy all down your throats!

Basically an English sausage, served with french fries, or in their case, chips.

Also can be served in a sandwich with a vegetable spread and dipped in gravy.

This is making me hungry! Thing looks good, there is a local English Pub around here, I should see if they have this.

Anyway coincidently I’m having hotdogs tonight, so that’s lucky.

Also searching for pictures of a saveloy I stumbled upon an English porn site with a character o the name of Jim Slip, or Jimmy Saveloy. It’s a pay site though, so yeah.

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Hetalia: Axis Powers is the Best Show Ever

March 10, 2010 Leave a comment

The other day I was telling my friend how I love anthropomorphism. Allow me to show you a few examples.

Knuckles the Echidna

Glasses

Pikachu

Wii remote and Nunchuk

A motherfuckin Tank

So my friend tells me about a show called Hetalia: Axis Powers, where the characters in the show represent the countries involved in WWII.

If you know anything about WWII and find racial stereotypes hilarious, than you must watch this show!

Now the show is set up as fangirl bait (making the male characters ‘beautiful’), but don’t let that deter you from watching, the show is seriously educational, and the Countries are represented in a humorous, albeit somewhat racially insensitive, way.

I really must warn you that if you are indeed easily offended then don’t watch this show. The Japanese have no sense of racial insensitivity. Nor do they have any sensitivity towards anything!

In a later episode England calls France a ‘fag’. No matter how many times South Park says fag, doesn’t really make the word ‘ok’ to use. But hey, that’s Japan for you, and in the context of the show it was funny as hell.

Take America for example, he’s loud, cocky, always wants to be the hero, and eats nothing but hamburgers. I’d say that’s pretty fair, right?

The show is entirely subbed, and sometimes there is a huge amount of text on the screen when they pause to learn you something, but otherwise the episodes are only 5 minutes each, so watching a few episodes won’t take up too much of your time.

Here’s the first episode

The show is ongoing too, so I don’t know how many episodes there will be ultimately, and the show was originally a webcomic, then a manga, so if you can read Japanese, than by all means, seek those out too.

I guess I’ll count this as an Anime Bad-Ass entry, since it’s technically about anime characters in WWII.

Coincidentally, or not, Barnes & Nobel has WWII magazines stocked right next to the end-cap for the manga, but I guess that makes sense. I am in the demographic of my WWII interests overlapping into anime and manga?

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I Ain’t Gonna Play by Your Rules Man!

And by your rules, I mean my rules, as in the rules I set up for myself to have consistent blog posts about Anime and Horror games.

I slipped up, sorry!

Anyway, how to make up for it?

Would like site I go to to get cartoon titty pictures?

You don’t?

Well fuck you here’s the site anyway!

The site is http://danbooru.donmai.us/ and it’s pretty awesome, you just type in a word of something you wanna see, say ‘footjob’

And then you scroll through some of the pics until you find one you like, oh here’s a good one!

Now as you’ll see on the left, there is a list of tags.

The tags are the words that describe elements in the picture. If you look closer, you’ll see different colored words.

The red tag is the character’s name.

The green tag is the artist or creator of the picture’s name.

And the purple tag is where the character originated from.

Try clicking on all the tags!

Sometimes you’ll need to do some searching for something specific you want to see. For example, there is no ‘titjob’, but if you type in ‘breasts’, and find a picture depicting a titjob, then look through the tags, you will soon discover that the word ‘paizuri’ means titjob, and then you’re set!

You’ll soon discover things you didn’t even know you liked! But I do warn you, don’t get carried away! The last thing you want is to discover too much and make real life sex mundane!

I suggest sticking with sexual acts that your partner wouldn’t mind, such as my personal favorite, ‘thigh sex’.

There you go, have fun!

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Talk Radar

This is my entry into a contest for a t-shirt, wish me luck!

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